What Mothers Should Know About Developmental Milestones

by Ellen Ettinger, Founder & Director, Motherhood Association

Children’s developmental milestones often are found as numbers in charts and tables. But these numbers can sometimes be intimidating, and a source of confusion and worry. Parents often panic when they see an age listed on a milestones table and their child has not mastered a skill yet at that age. What do you really need to know?

Developmental milestones are general guidelines that indicate when children tend to become able to carry out various skills.

There are physical milestones, communications milestones, social/emotional milestones, and cognitive milestones.

Examples of physical milestones include approximate ages when children learn how to sit up, stand, crawl, and walk. Communication milestones include when children start to babble, pronounce sounds, say their first words, and their first simple sentences. Social and emotional milestones involve age levels related to when children understand their own emotions, comprehend the emotions of other people around them, and interact with other people. Cognitive milestones involve a child’s ability to think, learn, and solve problems.

1. It is important for parents to understand that the designated ages listed as milestones are guidelines for the approximate ages, not exact ages.

For any of the guidelines, there are children that reach the particular milestone before, and children who reach the guideline after, the age printed on a table. Both situations can be normal.

Milestones are not exact or prescriptive timelines of when a child must show mastery of a particular skill. There is a range of ages, and a window of time around each milestone when it is usually normal and common for children to achieve a particular skill. Accomplishing a milestone a little later than seen on a chart is not usually a serious sign. But if a child is significantly delayed in reaching a milestone, or has been delayed in several milestones, or if there are any concerns, a parent should discuss this with the child’s pediatrician.

I learned firsthand to stay calm about milestones many years ago when my daughter was very young, about a year old. Another child in our neighborhood walked confidently when she was nine months old. My daughter wasn’t walking at nine months, ten months, eleven months, or even twelve months. I remember thinking, “Why isn’t she walking?” There were times I thought and wondered: what is taking so long? when is she going to walk? That’s a normal and common reaction for many parents! She didn’t walk until she was about thirteen months old. That’s when she was ready, and that’s when she stood up and moved forward on her own two feet.

This was a real learning experience for me! Fortunately, our pediatrician reassured me that my daughter was right on schedule in her development. It took patience for me to wait for her to walk, but all of a sudden she stood up, and took off! That’s when I became calm about milestones, and understood the variability for children in reaching milestones.

2. Children who reach milestones earlier are not more talented, or gifted, than those who reach them at the referenced ages.

Development is not a race! It is not urgent to reach milestones at any early time. Children who speak a little later usually become as good at communicating as their earlier-speaking friends. Those who are ahead physically are not expected to become athletic stars later in their lives because they reached their milestones earlier.

3. There are individual differences in the developmental process for different children.

Some children reach certain milestones earlier, and some are later to reach certain skills. Each child is unique. My daughter didn’t reach the milestone for walking until the latter end of the guideline, and that was normal for her. On the other hand, her communication skills came sooner, and she was talking at an earlier age than many children. It is all individual, acceptable, and normal, within the windows around the approximate guidelines for each skill.

4. if a parent has any concerns about when a child meets milestones, or if there are any concerns in a child’s development, a parent should discuss them with the pediatrician.

In cases of actual developmental delays, early intervention is important and can result in better outcomes, so bringing concerns to the pediatrician can be helpful and beneficial. In many cases, the doctor can reassure the parent if the child’s development is normal, but if there is a problem, early intervention can be important in providing support.

The American Academy of Pediatrics recommends developmental screenings at age 9 months, 18 months and 30 months. This allows for early intervention if problems are found. Again, early intervention is an advantage and it usually provides the best long-term results, since supportive services can be provided earlier.

Pediatric screenings look for delayed rolling over, sitting, or walking, poor head and neck control, muscle stiffness or floppiness, speech delay, swallowing difficulty, and other physical activities related to body posture and muscular control. Screenings can look for delays in areas of motor function, speech and language, cognitive skills, play skills, and social skills. All of these are important developmental skills.

Watching for milestones can help parents and pediatricians pick up early signs of autism and other developmental delays, and bring supportive services earlier to children, without waiting for more longstanding problems and patterns to take hold and occur.

Developmental milestones are often quoted most commonly for infants and very young children, but there are also milestones for older children. Monitoring children for growth and development shouldn’t stop when you get to the bottom of a particular milestone table. We can also monitor progress and skills in social, emotional, and other areas in children older than the early ages we typically see on milestone tables for young children, even teenagers. It is definitely relevant to monitor social, emotional and other areas in school-age children and adolescence where social, emotional, cognitive and other skills are so important. According to the Association of Maternal & Child Health Programs, older teenagers tend to experience fewer physical development problems and more complex cognitive development like the ability to think about ideas rationally, plan for the future, and gain a firm sense of identity. Parents who can pick up early signs of problems at any age can be instrumental in obtaining supportive services for children who are in need, and who can benefit, from help.

Parents can be helpful to children by being encouraging and supporting their children’s developmental attempts and learning. It is fun to watch children take their first successful steps, or to hear their first few words. It is beautiful to observe children as they grow and progress. Observing and congratulating children as they reach their developmental milestones is part of the joy of parenting. In case of delays, being aware of milestones can help identify important supportive steps to help children.

If you enjoyed reading about this topic, continue to check out additional information and blogs on our website. To find out about how to work with me one-on-one directly to personalize, strengthen and fast-track your results for you and your family (or to have me speak at an event, organization or business meeting) schedule a free phone consult with me, or e-mail here if you prefer.

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